Letter from a Criminal

By Armed Rapist
(Original author, Angel Shamaya)

Dear Gun Control Advocates & Anti-Self-Defense Media,

I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for making my job easier. Every time you make it harder for my victims to defend themselves against me, my job as a criminal gets less risky. When I know my women don�t have a gun, I get what I want with almost no resistance.

Those local ordinances all these great American cities keep enacting after I commit one of my crimes--you know, the ones that tell law-abiding citizens they can�t carry a gun---well, they are Wonderful! Gives new meaning to the phrase "The Land of Opportunity." Each year, my ability to commit violent crime gets easier--less risky, if you know what I mean--and I owe it all to the great work you�re doing to disarm my prey.

Oh, that licensing and registration thing--love it. Less people will buy guns once again, for sure. Heck, I can get my guns on the street cheaper than the ones in the gun store anyway, so licensing and registration won�t faze me a bit. You�ve even helped me enlist some buddies into my gang because they aren�t afraid of getting caught any more, so thanks for that, as well.

Please keep up the great work for gun control measures which disarm law-abiding people. I�m really proud of the work you�re doing. You have my full support.

Sincerely,

Armed Rapist

PS. Though I�ve raped a bunch of women, I�ve never actually committed armed robbery because I just never knew if they had a gun or not. But now, I�m thinking of expanding my business!