'United Nations' Humor and
The Funny Associated Press
by Jimmy Tucker
Ain't got no title, but you can call me Little Jimmy
[email protected]
July 9, 2001
KeepAndBearArms.com -- With all of this
hullaballoo about the United Nations Conference on Confiscating Weapons from
People Who Resist Tyranny, Dafna Linzer of the Associated Press wrote an amusing
article (July 9, 2001) for their propaganda machine that gave me a good
belly laugh or two. These folks are meeting in New York City -- where a decent
woman cannot protect herself with a handgun from a rapist -- to discuss the
problem of honest people having guns.
First there was the title of her article:
"U.S.
Takes Strong Stance on Arms." That's so cute, isn't it? In a sad
sorta way anyway. According to Ms. Linzer's AP report, U.S. Undersecretary
of State John Bolton, speaking for the Bush administration, said,
"The United States will not join consensus
on a final document that contains measures contrary to our constitutional right
to keep and bear arms...If the conference can concentrate on the
central issue of the flow of illicit weapons into areas of conflict, then I
think there's broad room for agreement. But if it drifts off into areas that are more properly the subject of
national-level decision-making then I think there will be difficulties...The United States believes that the
responsible use of firearms is a legitimate aspect of national life [and Washington
will not accept any] measures that
would constrain legal trade and legal manufacture of small arms and light
weapons."
And the Associated Press lady thinks that's
tough talk. Kinda make ya wonder who they've been "Associated"
with, doesn't it?
Where I come from, tough talk woulda been
somethin' like,
"All you small, self-important,
poverty-stricken, handout-seeking, third-world communist
government-worshippers are welcome to eat those stale donuts in the corner,
over there next to the toilet, and you can drink that nasty city water 'til
it's gone, but you can take your attempts to bind the good ole US of A to your
rights-stripping policies and stick 'em where the sun don't shine."
That's how we'd put it in front of ladies
anyway -- including those wonderful, patriotic vixen who'd call that sweettalk
-- but a "strong stance" is what happens at shooting ranges while
we're dousing UN flags with gasoline and drawing straws to see who gets to light
'em. Those were the good ole days (last weekend), where people painted
old, German-issue army helmets UN-powder blue and see how far away they can get
and still put a .30 caliber hole in 'em.
The silly Associated Press writer also quoted a
fellow by the name of Rubem
Cesar Fernandes, of the International Network on Small
Arms, a non-profit arms
control group:
"I was amazed by the U.S. representative's
remarks. It sounded like he wanted the conference to collapse," said Rubem
Cesar Fernandes.
Fernandes' organization is based
in London, not so far from where a 14-year-old
girl was just gang raped by several youngsters "as holidaymakers walked
nearby," where so-called 'banned' guns are used to rob
paperboys, drag
families from their beds and rob them, kill, intimidate and wreak havoc on
local communities -- thanks to the black market similar to the black market in Hong
Kong, where guns are also banned and thus owned by everybody who'll pay the
price except lawful citizens who need them for self-defense. Those decent
folks who choose Life Over Laws can go straight to jail without collecting $200
if they get caught exercising the God-given right to self-defense -- or be
executed, depending upon which UN state we are talking about -- and Mr.
Fernandes knows that, as does his armed bodyguard.
Mr. Fernandes' ideas on what he's going to do
to help those decent people protect themselves from the free market exploitation
of his local black market in his fair city of London might merit some attention
-- but his willy nilly yodeling that the defense of Americans' constitutional
rights is somehow 'bad' seems rather roguish. Somebody get him some tea,
for goodness sake!
I reckon it's best you all don't make me go
represent us countryfolk over there in New Yawk City. I might git us all
in a heap o' trouble. 'Course we American "strong standers"
could lick the lot of 'em, so I guess there ain't much to be 'fraid of anyhow.
Send some prayers to that girl over at the
Associated Press. She got bit purty bad by something real red.
Sincerely,
Little Jimmy
PS. If you think that's "strong
stance" talk, you should hear my dad, Big Jimmy. He says his training in
the Marines has him certain he's got 30 fightin' years left, 40 if they make him
mad. Daddy says it's a good thing Mr. Bolton spoke up for us to all them sick
people at that meetin'.
PPS. You can send my letter to everbody
you like. Just tell 'em about this here website, too.
KeepAndBearArms.com is our kinda people.
